MSN: frozenroots@hotmail.co.uk

Skype: scrab-chan

ICQ: 408654404

Deviantart: http://hannah-the-echidna.deviantart.com

FurAffinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/papiyon/

Ah finally, my muscles have stopped seizing up!
Whoo I can walk up and down the stairs without whimpering!

I'm trying so hard not to spend any money. I need to save it all for Japan stuff.
I want some really classy shoes and suits to wear when I teach. The rules are really strict, like no open toes shoes etc. and they're really specific about hair styles.
I'm fine in that category, as my hair is kinda heading blonde-wise and I keep it well groomed anyways.
I'm so excited to go, and I need to find a Hellraiser poster to stick up on my wall!

My own personal wall! I'll be completely independent! Eating what I want, sleeping when I want, looking after my own responsibilities without other people harping on.
At the most, I'll have three roomates (all women), so I'll have to learn to adapt!
I think I'll get on better with women, rather than men, because nearly every guy I've know has physically or emotionally hurt me because I wont/can't give them what they want. Which is usually sex or utter devotion. I'm either too free spirited or selfish to do the latter, and I'm too romantically inclined to do the former with someone I don't care for.

Speaking of romance I have to go to a wedding on Friday.
I want to get married... I just don't want to deal with the crap from the other person!
At least it's a night of cake and cocktails! I just love the excuse to dress up.
I really do love weddings. I'm always the first to tear up, because seeing people so happy makes me realise that I want that. I'd love to take a peek into the future and see if there's someone weird enough out there who'll take me for what I am.

Until then, I'm stuck stalking Doug Bradley at Hellraiser conventions, telling him I love him.
OMG YOU WERE, LIKE, PINHEAD! I LOVE YOU SIGN MY BOOB!

Well that's it for now, my dears!
Hope you're all well!

Current Mood: bouncy

I'm really looking forwards to my graduation.
I've mentioned this on practically every site and forum I'm on!
It's sad and joyous at the same time. Since I was a little girl in elementary school I was groomed to go to university, and now it's done. Four years over and done with in the blink of an eye.

I guess I was comfortable in Uni. I knew where I was in the class, and who was good at what and who knew who etc. In the first year, it was a lonely place as each class had hundreds of students, but gradually I climbed the ladder and in the final classes of year four, everyone knew my name, and I could walk in crack stupid jokes even when the lecturer was there. Okay, so one class only had 9 people in it, but still!

It makes me sad that, probably, the only ways I'll stay in touch with some of them is through e-mail. I miss the days of Snail Mail, yanno. It actually took time to write and alot more care and consideration.
I need a pen pal or something.

I am glad that exams are over and done with, as is the results season. I will never spend another birthday or christmas staying awake out of fear that I flunked.
I guess my CV is pretty good right now. I mean I won the science prize in my High School Finals, I had a year in industry, and now I'm going to graduate with a 1st Class.

For those who aren't familiar:

• First-Class Honours (First or 1st) 
  
• Upper Second-Class Honours (2:1)
• Lower Second-Class Honours (2:2)
• Third-Class Honours (Third or 3rd)
• Ordinary degree (Pass)
• Fail (no degree is awarded)

Okay so my graduation is about 3 weeks away.

Commence starvation. I want to look killer in my gown, so I'm cutting way back on food intake.
Two meals a day, consisiting of a chicken thigh and some salad.
My mother, who's normally a health freak, said it's fine, as long as I go back to normal after my graduation and drink alot of water.

... I've noticed she'd hidden all the laxatives and Ipecac. So maybe she's not to cool with the whole thing.


My great-aunty Amy died the other day.
She had just had enough it seems, and she passed away naturally. She was 90 years old, so I think it was her time.
I cried for about three hours because I felt so guilty. I never phoned to check up on her like I should of.
But she had her daughter and son-in-law with her all the time, so I think that's the most she wanted.

Current Mood: discontent

I'd be having my toes sucked by James Spader right now.

But alas, I'm here. Stressing beyond belief.
Thank god Helen is coming up for my birthday. She keeps me sane and drunk <3
I went from drop kicking stuff down the stairs to laughing my ass off when she phoned me.
She's inspired me to do more furry art, so if you're interested I've re-started my account at Fur Affinity:

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/papiyon/


Another thing. It pisses me off when people try to butt into certain aspects of my life.
I would hope a certain amount of interest is normal, but to stuff yourself into the main role is a bit... fucking annoying.

And that's not including the people who watch every move that I make.

My mother's a bit freaked out about the time I'm spending on Jack the Ripper.
Jeez, it's not like I'm having fantasies over him... although she did catch me trying to define the volume and size of the average uterus.
I'm more interested with the intrigue of who he actually was. My money's on the doctor.
Who else could extract a uterus (one of the most difficult organs to remove) in the dark under such rushed circumstances. Don't give me any crap about how posh people were allowed to watch and could of learned themselves, the uterus is a whole new level of complication... he took the ovaries too! now that's bloody tricky.

And quite distressing.

On another note....

12 days to my birthday!
BRING ME CAKE AND MEN

Nothing says 'Hannah you couch potato' like season one of American Dad! and some of that reduced calorie Dr. Pepper.

I burned myself of the goddamn toaster. I slipped on some water I should of cleaned up straight away and landed on the toaster. I am now the proud owner of a 6 inch gash-like burn on my right forearm.
I look like a self harmer and have to wear long sleeves in this hidious weather to hide it.
I'm slathering on witchhazel gel to cool it off, and it seems to be doing the trick.
Still DYING to itch it though.

I've recieved an interesting note, explaining how some whorebag wants to 'hurt me' while the person who should want to hurt me is bending over backwards to be nice. There's a plan afoot, I tells ya!
I hope she attempts it, it's lolcano waiting to happen.
It's amazing how I can spend the night clipping my toenails and people still want to hang me.

Speaking of psychos.
I treated myself to a new book. I'm sick of fiction for a while, probably because I'm writing some myself so I bought a book called Sadistic Killers: Profiles of Pathological Predators by Carol Anne Davis.
I read the first story of one of the killers and I'm now paranoid some dude is going to climb in my window, violate me and flagellate me to death. Seriously scary. I've always had a deep fascination with Psychopaths. Their brain function is so entirely different to ours.

There's a girl who lives round the corner from me called Ashleigh, and with a few more braincells I'm CONVINCED she could of been a full-blown psychopath.
She had a real fetish for hurting animals. When we were little (about 5-6 years old) she tried to steal a Polly Pocket toy of mine once, and when I refused to play out with her, she collected bucketfuls of snails and crushed them by standing on them all over my driveway. Then, one time, the doorbell went and she was there with all her family. They told me that I made her kill something. My mum promptly told them to fuck off, as I'd been in all weekend.
It turned out the bitch had climbed a tree and cracked open all the eggs in a blue-birds nest. A few years later I found them rotting in a jar under her bed. I never did see her much after that.

My dad bought my purse for me! I'm overjoyed, and a spoilt cow. He said I'd worked hard and this was a gift to say he was proud of me.
So now I have the gown, the purse, the shoes and the jewellry. I just need to sort out the make up and I'm done. hurrah, what a sad life I do lead!

Current Mood: cheerful

I finally found my Ball Gown, and it's white! A really silky ivory white.
I already have the shoes for it. They're silver stilettos with alot of diamond-ish detail, but now I need to find a clutch handbag to go with it. By the laws of fashion, it needs to match my shoes. So a little silver one should be bloody perfect.
I did find the perfect one in Accessorise, it was hard, clustered with little silver crystals and was the perfect size. Only problem is, it was £45! I can't really justify that price...even though it was gorgeous... and I would use it everytime I go out... T_T
It's the silver version of this:

It's called the 'Oscar Bag' and I think it's based on one Claudia Schiffer had.
Maybe Ebay has one going cheap. Or I can do commissions to earn the money for it.

Everytime I go into the Accessorize shop I walk out with about 5 different hats, so I only go in when I have to.

My mother asked me what I want for my birthday this year, since it's coming up on the 22nd June.
I asked for a treadmill, and she laughed at me since they typically range in the £700 - £2000 price bracket.
This is the first year that I don't actually care what I get. Normally there's something I REALLY REALLY WANT, but this year there's nothing... well except maybe the bag up above.
I asked for some money for some manga and maybe a trip to my favourite restaurant.
Helenbaby should be coming down for my special day, so I'll probably too drunk/hungover/in hysterics to care what day it is.




 

My nana goes on holiday to Germany tomorrow, and since I'm the only person around, I'm in charge of the food preparation.
I can stir-fry and use a Geogre Forman. That's nutritious, right?

My mother say's she's taking a few days off to take me shopping for a ball gown for my graduation.
And lunch if I'm lucky!

I'm really into my fanfic right now <3 more on that later.

I feel so much better after my night out.
It's like I burnt all my stress away. I guess I was feeling trapped, but now I just feel ready to get out there and actually live my life like I want to. 21 is too young to get bogged down, although it's not the same for everyone.
It's so nice to wake up to someone who doesn't expect me to perform from the minute I open my eyes to the second I fall asleep. That's new to me, and I really enjoyed it.

Anyways, in town I bumped into some friends from university and we had a nice catch-up session. Although it was mainly dancing and screaming the lyrics to dance anthems. My voice is still sore.
I didn't really have a hangover this time, as I didn't want to drink too much for the obvious reason. I still felt a bit run down, but that's probably due to the sugar in the drink mixers. Like a sugar crash or something, rather than the regular alcohol poisioning.
Either way I got a really cool keyring of a photo with me and the girls in. I actually look cute in a photo for a change.

I spent most of today text messaging and playing MarioKart, glee-ing whenever Bowser Jr  made a sound effect. So cyute o3o

I've opened up this new live-journal, because I need a place I can rant and rave, or whoop for joy, without getting a million and one pageviews on DeviantART. Besides, DA is so anal I'd probably get the ban hammer for frowning.

http://hannah-the-echidna.deviantart.com

It's a sad, sad day when I change myself for anyone. It really is.
I've lost alot of 'friends' (term used very very very flippantly), because they simply weren't the people that I could ever be happy with. But then again, I've gained alot of friends because I wont take any of the adolescent crap I'm supposed to.
I often get e-mails and stuff asking the question 'Why is so and so not your friend anymore?' and 'Why don't you fight for the friendship?'
Well, it's because they usually don't present me with anything to fight FOR.
Respect is a rare commodity nowadays and the people who I have it for, I can count on the fingers of one hand.

This brings us to the latest model in fuckwittery.
It seems that by simply going out and having fun (alias 'a life') I'm a whore. Hmmm. Here's me thinking you need to have, y'know, sex, to be a whore. Maybe I'm wrong.
Eitherway, it was the excuse I needed to break the hell away from my ex-boyfriend. He's being nothing but a cancerous tumour lately. He starts off being benign and relatively okay (if not annoying), then the moment he actually realises that I don't love him, let alone like him anymore, he turns into a huge venomous wreck.
I think I used to like him as a person, but that was so long ago I can hardly remember.
I used to be quite a clingy and obsessive person, but I've since grew up, and it hit me straight in the face that there IS actually more out there than just sitting in, waiting for the person you're 'dating' to IM you or draw you a half -assed sketch that I could of done a better job of myself.
The final straw came in many facets, funnily enough.
Throughout my final biochemistry exams, he constantly phoned me. Now, that would be really sweet if he was actually asking about me. But no, it was to remind me that 'I would end up with him no matter what, regardless of what I actually WANTED'. Thanks for the extra stress, buddy.
Then because of his past tresspasses against me, he freaks and moans and rants because I simply don't want to show as much affection anymore. I'm sick of the *roleplaying* and the attention whoring that goes on when he's around. Now he's trying to suck up to my best friend, who actually can see right through him. I love her even more now, if that's even possible.

Then I have a rather strange friend. He typically acts like a stand up bloke, and I love the bones of him, but lately he's been so duplicitous. I've called him out on it and all he really says is 'uh, sorry.' I'd rather have an explanation than a fake appology.
He's popping shots at me alot of the time, and for no reason either. I still call him a friend, but he's hurting me alot.

Anyways, I've decided there's no point waiting for someone to actually get a grip and UNDERSTAND what you want, so I've adjusted my inbox, and got a date tonight. I need to test the waters and actually be a real-live person.
We're having some dinner (he's paying, OSHI-) and then we're heading into town for drinks and clubs. It should be really refreshing to have a guy for once who doesn't expect alot from me all in one go.

Current Mood: cynical